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My life has been going a mile a minute and I feel like I am trying to catch up. Erin graduated sixth grade and is on her way to the seventh grade for next year. The Covid 19 Pandemic has really had its toll on our lives. The Black Lives Matter revolution continues to march and protest for the victims Breonna Taylor and George Floyd Our nit wit president Troll is acting like a jack ass he won't wear his mask publicly. What really gets me is how can he can be a leader and not seta n example. My Sun's who are incarcerated have me mailing them money every two weeks which becomes so taxing. Many folks don't understand the pain that goes with having a loved one incarcerated, the nagging feeling of hoping they will be ok and not get hurt while being in prison.

Sachee has been doing quite well staying at home with the baby. I am proud of raising him to be a responsible father. The way he looks and plays with Lila is contagious because they sincerely have a father and daughter connection at four months.

This week I did a video to record what happened to me in 1993, when officers publicly beat me and dragged through Penn Station. My children tried to stop the officers from choking me to death behind a dumpster but one officer kicked my ten year old in the back and my eight year old was slapped across his face by two grown men. Reliving the officers beating me and seeing Jovals face watching me get beat by these grown white men had to be scary for him he was only four years old. I really don't think white amerikkka understands the severity of being

I never thought I would want to leave America, living here all my life not knowing anything else but this place. Lately I have been researching where I can live humbly when Erin graduates from High School. The racism and economics really has me wanting to run now but I know I have to be careful to make a conscious decision. I feel like America is changing and not for the good. I keep hearing the Troll state he wants to make America great again, my question is what does the troll mean? Does he mean bring back slavery again? It concerns me where Black people stand and what is next for us in the near future. I am not sure where Ervin will agree to move I know it has to be a warm environment...





Today was a gloomy day in Rochester cloudy but not raining. I expected to hear from Joval today since it was his birthday he turned 32 years old and unfortunately he's sitting in a Federal Lock up because he makes the wrong decisions. I spoke to his attorney regarding his release but having an issue with finding his doctor who prescribed him his asthma pump when he was on the outside. I am really surprised that the Federal lock up hasn't made notes on his account he was asthmatic. I guess you have to have money like that Takasho 69 to be heard and be released. I am frustrated with his situation because it's stressing me out slowly taking it's toll on my mind. 32 years ago doesn't seem that long ago it was 1988 I took a cab downtown from Harlem to St. Vincents Hospital in the village. It was bumpy ride with some foreign guy who made me quite nervous the way he drove on the FDR hitting every pot hole he could. I spent most of the evening with contractions I was 21 years old all alone at St.Vincents but the nurses were so nice and treated me kind. That time in my life I still believed Catholic hospitals were the best and cared about their patients which to me they did. I remember seeing Joval he was dayum near white but I loved him the first time I laid eyes on him. He was so beautiful to me his brother Peedy couldn't wait to meet him. I was living uptown on 116th street and 2nd avenue projects with Mother Linda which was livid with characters while I lived there.

I was truly thankful to have such a woman that protected me and watched over me and my Suns Peedy and Joval. Pierre was two years old when Joval was born and loved him so much and would speak to him like Joval understood every word. Joval has always had such a beautiful smile with nice teeth. I never gave my kids candy when they were small as a single parent I knew I wouldn't be able to afford braces that was thinking at the time. Though St. Vincent's Hospital is gone and no longer stands my Sun is a part of NYC history. I love you Joval and hope that you can come home soon and that corona virus doesn't harm your health.


Today I spoke to my mentors Dr. Jeffries and Abiodun. I was checking in on them because I know both of them like to be busy. They seem to be doing fine Dune asked about my family and I asked about his we laughed at the virus in the white house. Dr. Jeffries spoke to me for a while speaking about his family and how he met Muhammad Ali in the Congo. He spoke about how a student in his program passed away he had to make funeral plans the student was from Canada his parents wanted him to be buried in Africa. I called Zakiyah she was out for a walk and jog I was concerned about her because of her respiratory issues she was in Westchester at her parents so she was good.

Today Erin and I took a walk down Exchange Street on the canal it felt good to get out. I always enjoy being by the water my spirit feels at ease when I am around it. Saw a few people out walking and jogging Erin wore a mask and I wore a scarf over my face as we got some air on a gloomy Saturday in the #585 #ROC


Blessingz and be safe...






It has been a few days since we have been quarantined in New York state we have been informed to stay home. Cuomo was on the TV = Tell+Lie+Vision critically asking folks to stay home and that his brother Chris Cuomo has contracted it as well. It has got critical how many people are catching the virus. New York City received additional help with a Navy ship housing non Corona virus patients because all eleven hospitals in the metropolitan area are packed. My step brother is now getting better after catching the Corona Virus my concern is my mother catching it now because her and my step Dad really can't afford to catch it. My step Dad just recently kicked cancer and my mother is 75 years old so either way I really am concerned for them both. My sun, Joval is incarcerated in Manhattan Federal Lock up and unfortunately that facility has someone that has the virus. My sun, Joval was coughing and I could hear the concern in his voice regarding his health we both know his asthma is our main concern. Joval wants me to reach out to the Judges regarding his rights being violated and he still hasn't went to trial. I want to feel sorry for him then another part of me wants him to sit right there and change his attitude. I honestly think the state or feds don't have a case but because we live in Amerikkka they need the bodies to get paid. It's really easy for a Black man to get caught up and be in the judicial system for years without going to trial. Kalief Browder is an example of the justice system failing Black men and I am concerned about them failing Joval as well. I think when you're Black in Amerikkka it's whole different struggle from my filmmaking career to just living your life comfortably. My eldest Sun, Peedy called me today from N.C. he is supposed to be l released next year and looking forward to spending time with him when he is released.


I love my family but I am overwhelmed with sending money to the prisons, working jobs I am overqualified thankful to be working though. Not many folks know what I am going through because I keep my problems to myself. I never knew when you become a parent that even when your kids are grown you still have to support them mentally and financially. I still haven't heard from my daughter it's ok though the last words from her were to leave her the hell alone and never call her again and that is just what I have done. I am quite tired of my daughter snatching my grandkids from me because she's mad. I have tried to deal with her bipolar behavior now I'm just plain tired of trying I have found my mind to let her go and let her live her life. My mother is concerned because it's her first grandchild and I get that but I also have to love myself and take care of Erin who is a minor.

It's crazy just a year ago my eldest daughter was thanking me for life, I thought she was sincere but I should've known that wasn't true at all. Months later she was telling my grandkids I wasn't coming to take them to the beach last August. It's been since September last year since she spoke to me she changed her number and I'm cool with that it shows she was never sincere about having a relationship with me just what she could get out of me. That hurts when your child only comes around when they want something instead of communicating with their family. I wish the best for my 35 year old daughter and love her dearly sadly one day it will be too late for her to rectify our relationship.

As I live and love, I wish the best for our country and the best for my family most of all.

Blessingz...







nLv

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United We Stand - Pistol Peedy
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