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United We Stand - Pistol Peedy
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alchemist attitude

December 29, 2017

The past few months have flown by like a thief in the night. This summer I went to Far Rockaway with family and enjoyed relaxing before returning back to the ROC. My grandawtas had ball at the beach with my cousins dawta. I captured some memories of the girls and Relly at the beach with my cousin

















I have been Ubering and Lyfting in Rochester, New York struggling to find time for myself.  Every time I schedule time for myself a situation arises and distracts me from my goal at hand.  Lately I have been extremely tired and exhausted not sure what is going on with my body.  The experiences driving people around have had me desiring to put a car dashcam on my mirror something like tax cab confessions.  Not sure when I am going to do that.  


Since the conception of my documentary "Reluctant Love" I have seen may cases of sexual assault and rape.  Harvey Weinstein is resembling the Cosby case where several have come forward about being victimized, one of my passengers made a comment regarding why did the women wait so long to report it.  As a survivor violence myself it is scary to tell your family and friends because in my case it was embarrassing that it happened because it was two men that raped me.  The shame and gilt I felt was there not to mention I was in denial that I was pregnant.   I always thought that society would say how could it be rape if you got pregnant you must have enjoyed it. There are many reasons why survivors of rape are silent and may be why some of us don't say anything until years have passed.   My own victimization left me empty and in the early eighties there were no resources for girls like myself.  Resources that were free is if you were giving your child away for adoption then you might get some mental counseling with a side of sympathy.  


There have been some stories that caught my eye which involved rape like the transgender woman who raped a 10 year old child. The story obviously upset the LGBT community and they went in on me on book of face. I posted the article because it was about rape and there are many situations that evolve from this violence.  As a parent I am always concerned about our youth and this story caught my eye as a parent and a survivor.  I also have been disappointed about folks comparing rape to sexual encounters.  People obviously think because they felt uncomfortable is the same as rape which is not the case whatsoever.  I feel like they want attention publicly because they want to be heard, for someone like myself who took three decades to even talk about my rape it's like my journey is attempting to be diminished.  Though I do understand other people have been in difficult situations it's not the same and it truly hurts to see folks act like because someone made them feel uncomfortable is not the same as someone raping you.   I really try to comprehend why some women want to compete on hat happen to them was as bad as someone being violated.  


Lately the news has been drowned out with all the sexual assaults and rape. In 2006, Tarana Burke started the #metoo campaign unfortunately white amerikka has been representing the campaign and you wouldn't even know that a woman of color started the campaign.  My plans for the upcoming year is to meet her and have communication with the organizations that help and assist survivors like myself.  


Blessingz till the next time....

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