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United We Stand - Pistol Peedy
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reaching out for support

December 26, 2018


My documentary is picking up momentum again, I was able to meet with one mental health professional this weekend at Boulder Coffee on Alexander this past Sunday. The young woman was helpful in referring me to another professional that dealt with trauma as well. Ironically I had a photography exhibit and the women had come to the office on Cumberland.  How small a world is that that the woman that came would be contacted in regards to the film.  We spoke for at least an hour the next day about howI conduct the workshops and I was feeling uneasy the last meeting because I honestly didn't want to share my story again. I was starting to trigger an emotion and I couldn't swim due to my back issue.  It was a pleasure speaking to her and we will be meeting up after the new year for an on camera interview.  The past few days were therapeutic because I actually attempted to speak to some women and clear up the air. One woman some what heard me but was in her own world because she felt some limelight I let her bathe in her glory and casually left the scene of the Frederick Douglass statue allowing all the shallow ass folks to continue being shallow.  I really don't like crowds of folks especially phony ass people who claim to be so religious but when said hello act like they don't know what to do or you can see the judgmental non verbal behavior showing me they're uncomfortable with me speaking to them.  I see that Rochester folks have a certain side about them which they want to feel and act like they are important but when taken out of the Rochester community nobody knows who they are.  


I know my goals are to be known internationally not just in New York state but internationally known for the activism that I do. As I get older I am feeling the pain of arthritis and other ailing pains but keeping my head up and continuing to stay in the pool is my life long promise to myself to stay fit. I definitely have to hit the pool this week because I am long overdo for my whirlpool and laps. 


My youngest daughter received one toy for the holiday we were pretty much tapped out anyways my check was late from workers comp so no deniro here.  Erv purchased her a Nintendo switch so she can carry with her when we go out.  Sachee stopped by with Shamar yesterday and spent some time and then took over his old room to listen to music like old times.  My eldest daughter called me today and let my grandkids show me their toys for the holidays.  Joval was sleeping in the background but listening in as well.  Last week was busy for me and painful for me for days it was like every time I went out the next two to three days I had to lay down because the nerve pain was kicking my ass.  The nerve seems like some days I may have a light cramp and then some days it's like hell has no fury because my leg is cramped from morning to night. I hope that it gets better because the pain is excruciating and it's making my eyes dark from the pain I am enduring.


The interview I had with WXXI was alright though on the last question I was stumped because I couldn't get out self defense to save my life.  I realized how rusty I really am and how I need to find a Toastmasters group like yesterday and get myself back on track.  Overall the interview went well and I posted it to my media page.


Staying focused and organized is such a challenge when your health isn't 100 and you have to let you body recoup.  I finally finished my book that my mother sent me "Nothing Gonna Bring Me Down" and was crying as it ended.  My old neighbor Demina gave me a "Becoming" a few weeks ago and I am finally reading it.  I like how both women describe the time they lived in by the era and the music. These are elements I will use in writing my own book.  I needed so desperately to read these books because I couldn't get to the pool to swim and much like the nerd I am, I was starting to get depressed.  As an only child growing up this is second nature to me because I had no brothers or sisters to talk to or play with I was a lonely child.  The books were my only escape from my loneliness at home it allowed me to go wherever my mind and the book would allow me.  I am enjoying hearing Michelle Obama's story because not only is she being brutally honest but she's mentoring me in writing my own.  The way she writes and her style give me that edge I can tell my own and her tenacity which you can feel through the pages as she describes herself at a young age is inspirational.  It's Christmas in Rochester, New York so I am going to get back to spending some time with Michelle before hitting the sheets...


blessingz Nicholle



It's carzy how some g

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