Today is my Sun Sacheesb birthday I can't believe he is 23 years old already. Just the other day I was changing those diapers full of love and wiping tears of awesomeness when he fell from skateboarding in Long Beach, Cali. Now he is grown and sexy living on his own I am proud that he is healthy and intelligent. As most mothers of color in the U.S. we all hope and pray that the creator will watch over our Black young men because so many of them have been murdered innocently with no regards. This year I am pushing myself to the limit and will market Sachee as I move forward he has so much talent and a part of me feels guilty for moving back to Rochester. I owe it to my family to be successful and to support them and their dreams. I have been depressed for way too long feeling sorry for myself that I don't have this or I don't have that I'm not going to fuss I am going to go full throttle and make my future develop with 100% velocity!
Received my logo about a week ago and I like it my good friend Jashua Sa-Ra made it for me. I was pleased because I wanted something simple that represented me. The symbol is derived from the Adinkra symbols. WAWA ABA"seed of the wawa tree"symbol of hardiness, toughness and perseveranceThe seed of the wawa tree is extremely hard. In Akan culture, it is a symbol of someone who is strong and tough. It inspires the individual to persevere through hardship. The symbol definitely represent what my journey has been through and then some.
Today I went to a community meeting that involved a lot of folks begging for votes. I realized that I probably could have ran for office but I am an artist and refuse to lie to folks. I am was agitated that my microphone decided to stop while my client was speaking and I checked the batteries before he spoke. No worries though the video footage was awesome I also ran into a few folks I haven't seen in the community in a while which was awesome. Good ole Adam McFadden was there and many others int eh Rochester community that are full of hot air unless it benefits them or their organization or church. Saw Minister Clifford Florence in the house I guess he is running for City Council guess the church business ain't paying like it use to. He might as well there wasn't many in the pews last time I visited just older women and a few men. So many of the churches are withering because most folks like myself have seen the double standard they uphold. Majority of Ministers drive in fancy cars and live in houses that most of wish we could afford. Times have definitely changed when folks in the churches are calling out pedophiles using workshops to take revenge. I recently had to step back from situations because some folks agendas aren't always righteous as they may appear. Now that I am older and wiser I approach life differently than when I was younger woman. I am more cautious when it comes to business and personal relationships and keep them distant because I have been burnt bringing people close. I find I am usually successful with most of my relationships from a distance like giving people a certain rhythm in my life and once in a while changing the rhythm to fit the mood.
Today was special a young woman I use to mentor wanted to see me she let me know she took a hiatus from school. I think she knows I wasn't going to hound her because I think young folks are figuring out that universities are leaving folks in debt. The conscious youth are realizing that and having an entrepreneur attitude in which they should. I loved what Damon Dash said when he was giving advice on his vlog he said "Universities teach you to be an employee but life teaches you to be an entrepreneur which will in the long run be more beneficial". A business you can pass down to your children but when work for someone else for 25 years you can't pass down a job. I love the analogy he used because he is right. Now you have to be wise enough to know you have to have several side hustles or a job and a side hustle to get to your goal. If you stay focused and discipline you will achieve your goal that is a fact most of us loose focus or are not discipline to get that far.
I have been reaching out to some folks int the community to assist me with my fundraiser goals so I can shoot this film and put it in a can. I am siked about editing this trailer and putting my foot in it for ITVS and the other three I am ready. My hand has been itching so there is money coming at least that is what I have experienced in the past.
As a filmmaker in America it is a struggle as a woman of color asking for money it really is. As I have these conversations with my filmmaker friend Dami on Marco Polo we both express our struggle. I have reached out to folks in the city that I know have money but to no avail that haven't responded back.
As I was writing this blog my Suns Sachee walked in to thank me for his birthday he is such an Aquarius!
Sometimes I feel like why am I doing this? Why do I even care when the community I am making the video for won't even donate to help me to get it done. I am vexed sometimes I am not going to lie I see other folks makes tons of money high and drunk and I can't even raise 10k to shoot. I am not going to stop but to be honest I am feel like I am loosing steam and I need the steam because I can;'t even see the station. My schedule has to be solidified and make money for the two major trips I want to make one is to Toronto Hot Doc (April-May) and the IDFA (Nov-Dec) in Amsterdam I checked the tickets RT are about $750 and the Airbnb is about $350 for about week which is enough for me and picking the days I want to specifically want to attend. Prioritizing and Focusing is my main focus to succeed with this project.
If you would like to assist me in this phenomenal project please feel free to donate to the workshop here
or you can donate to the film here
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Stay tuned Live from the #585 in the #ROC in the place to be. Let us never forget Freddy D!