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United We Stand - Pistol Peedy
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Disappointed...but I still love'm

September 1, 2019



As parents we always want to protect our children by any means necessary.  Such is the case with my children.  Last week has been a disappointment to say the least from the news of my Sun being jailed over the weekend to my daughter acting immature because I didn't attend a business meeting with her. My daughter informed me to never speak to her again because I didn't attend a meeting with her, she stated she waited outside the building for nearly a half hour.  Now what gets me with my daughter is that I have a cell phone, why din't she call me if she thought I was running or late or didn't think I was going to show?  I'm sure we will be alright but I am disappointed when my kids they think the world evolves around them.  I am not sure the older they get the more selfish they become or what it entails. 

I am extremely disappointed at the status of my daughters home I have tried myself to assist her in cleaning but she seems to let it go back to looking like filth.  I know I am exhausted when it comes to advising her that having a clean house means you can also think healthy.  Each time I ask her why hasn't she straightened up, there is an excuse she was tired and the kids messed up the house.  I really feel bad for my grandkids most of all, because my daughter was never brought up in filth and my concern is that she is hoarding which to me means there is something mental going on.  I know she doesn't want to admit it but I think she is depressed, hell I would to if I had to live in that building and walk up four flights of stairs to a messy apartment.  My concern is that my grandchildren will think it's normal not to be tidy and that being filthy is alright not only that if they can't respect their own environment they wont' respect anybody else's home as well. My daughter also has plans on home schooling them which I think is a disaster because if she can't keep her home organized and clean, how is she going to keep the kids work organized?

I visit my Sun in jail last week and he blames me for moving every few years,  I know for a fact I spoiled my children even as a single mother I tried to give them materialistic items I didn't get when I was coming up and love I never experienced from my own mother.   Though my mother had joined the church she did change her life but she rarely made time for me.  I guess that is why I always made time for my kids and shared why it was so important for family to stick together.  I grew up a lonely, only child with limited family experiences.  Things like a family reunion never happened in my family because the only two members were my mother and grandmother and they majority of the time would be fighting about something non important.

Disappointment comes and goes when it comes to our children.  Sometimes we have to be disappointed and still continue to love them and help them grow into the person they need to become.

I can only meditate that the creator hear my cries and bring light to the situation, where the children can blossom with a clear mind and clean environment.  I am concerned over the roof but I understand they are not my children so I can only help when she will allow me. I really hope my daughter can ask for help when she needs it, because she needs it in more than one way.


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